I have been like you so much

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I have not bought for myself with a free/willing spirit, though I had some blow money every month. I usually have bought for my hobby or the house but not for ME. In less than 2 weeks I have bought myself 4 new nice tops. My issues concerning buying for myself are a multitude. For a long time it has been a mishmash of lack of money/budgeting/planning (pre-DR). It also involves low self-esteem/self-worth, codependency, etc. Another part is finding pretty stuff in plus sizes. It seems designers use all the pretty fabrics on sizes 0-12 and by the time they get to 14 and up, all that is left is stuff so ugly I would not upholster my lawn chairs w/it. Eye rolling smile I am working on eating healthy—NOT dieting. I don’t know if it’ll help the weight issue but we’ll see. I plan on keeping myself in appropriate clothing …. not too expensive but as nice and as pretty as I can afford.

I have a bunch of old t-shirts and stuff I need to go through. They will do fine for someone else … they are not ratty, rather they are hardly worn. I will get them bagged up so I can donate them Monday. I also have some pants I need to donate as well. If I lose weight I deserve to have new pants to wear, not stuff that has been hanging in my closet for 4-5 years gathering dust.

I just cleaned out my underwear drawer and got rid of some worn out stuff.

It’s helped me declutter!

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I don’t do things based on when I bring things in…instead, I have a habit of two or three bags of stuff to salvation army every month. I have no idea how we still have stuff in the house, except that we never got rid of things when we were I our 20s :). Also, I sneak my husbands clothes it sometimes…he got 10 UGLY shirts from my father in law a couple of years ago, and refused to get rid of them, though he would never wear them. I got rid of them slowly, one per trip in the bottom of the bag, and he has never asked about them. Sometimes I wish someone would get rid of my stuff when I’m not looking!!!

I think you and I are going in the same direction, Liz

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I used to do this on rotation (pre Dave days): Once per week I would either: have a pedicure, a massage, a facial or my hair colored/cut. Usually a massage would be in the mix every other week. I looked terrific, but I was blowing money like crazy. I went from having my hair cut/colored every 5 weeks to every 12 weeks (yikes!!!!). What happened to me???? I haven’t indulged in the pedicures or facials in over a year, I know what happened. I got the Dave fever and cut everything either out or minimalized it. I realize that I’ve become an extremist, to the extremes. . I’ve had one massage (because of gift cards) in the past year. This may not seem like a big deal to most people, but I have a huge Vitamin D deficiency that I’m constantly battling, and the massages really do help. When we were in FL state we use paydayloansfloridaonline.biz and I just had a huge breast cancer scare. This has made me throw the towel in. I’m going to get my hair done regularly. I’ll have an occasional massage, and maybe a facial once or twice a year. The pedicure….ummm….whatever…my nails look nicer since I haven’t indulged. Bras???? Well, guys don’t get this, but a decent Wacoal is going to cost around $50. That’s worth it for a bra I’ll have for a few years. Clothes? I deserve to look nice. I’ve been wearing the same go to out fits for the past 8 or 9 years. Cindy, buy clothes that look nice on you. Who cares about the size. I just did the same, and I love Talbots because their clothes are classic and the styles don’t change. You need to feel that you look nice. Do it for yourself. Honestly, we need to take care of ourselves and feel good about ourselves, along with taking care of the family finances. I finally decided life isn’t all about money; sometimes, it needs to be about me too. I’ve left the “me” out of the picture for way too long. I’ve got everyone (business, home, kids, college, retirement, etc.) covered but I didn’t think I should be included. I was wrong…I do count, too. This is the year of me. I purchased everything on clearance so I should be good for the year, but I did it. I spent money on myself (finally) and I feel ok with it. Now….I just need to get a hair appt. and maybe a facial scheduled…

Here’s an organization question

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When you bring in new items into the house, do you declutter old things? Also, on a regular basis….When new items come into your house, do you find it hard to find a place for them? I own things that come in and I don’t know how to deal with it. I’ve got paperwork, decorations, kid stuff. I want my home to be neat. I had it organized, but now I’m drowning in stuff again. I think I’m paralyzed at making decisions.

Does your brain work differently? Do you just look at something and say, “that doesn’t belong here”, and throw it out without guilt?” I spin in circles and wonder if there is a trick to decluttering.


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Yes, fun to be in a new office. I do credit /debit verification for an auction house that sells jewelry and coins online. I also, on the second day, got to call customers and take payments. Nice group of people, close to my house, 4 hours a day on Monday and Tuesday only. So I still work the other three days with my husband on the books for our business.

Thanks for the info

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Perhaps this is why it isn’t working for us. my little guys are just reaching the point of sealants, so perhaps that’s why i disregarded bc/bs. they are our health care insurance carrier, although with my surgery and biopsy last month, i’m still looking at a couple of thousand dollars out of pocket. . it just seems the last few years that it’s harder and harder to take care of medical expenses.
so, my next quesiton for you, is what is this new part time job of yours? congratulations for scoring this! are you still working with your husband in your family business as well?

So, who’s yours with, Shay?

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When I looked, things like crowns wouldn’t be covered unless you’d had the plan in place for a year, and there was a bunch of other odd things that just didn’t make financial sense to me (although, for the life of me, I can’t recall what the issues were). I do know that my son takes medication that messes with his mouth. We had $5000 worth of dental surgery for him last May, the dental insurance would not have covered a lot of what he needed in dental care. Fortunately, we convinced our health care providered to cover some of the expenses since the problem has been pinpointed to the meds he has to take. I’ve simply decided to self insure and have a weekly amount auto drafted into a Capital One account specifically for dental needs, but I’m open to learn of something that may be beneficial, and cost effective for our family.

I think the decluttering thing

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and how soon you get rid of something has to be personalized to each family. Six months seems too short a time to me but 5 years seems too long. For example I have some office supplies that I have not used in a year or more but am beginning to use them now. I am glad I didn’t get rid of them. They all stored easily in a tote that went in the hall closet.

One thing FlyLady, and others talk about, is putting away off season clothes. We do not put away our summer clothes, ever. Our winters are mild and there are times we have worn short sleeves and shorts on Christmas day. I do put away winter clothes though. Once we get through March I feel I can safely put away summer clothes.

We haven’t any dental insurance either

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and when we compared the cost of the coverage versus the cost of the service, it didn’t make sense to buy the independent dental insurance. If you find something that does, please pass the info along. We pay in the ball park of what you’re paying for our children as well.

Speaking of Dental

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Where is a good place to get just dental insurance ? We have a health that doesn’t offer dental. I called the kids cleanings and xrays $168 a kid for cash pay. At 7 kids getting them cleaned twice a year I think need dental. Anyone point me somewhere I can get just dental with being self employed ? Is that even possible ?